I have said it before and I am quite sure that I will say it again, I quit, I give up, I can't deal with it anymore.
Ok, now that that is out of my system, on to the real reason for this posting. Mark, Sierra and I went to the Wentzville outdoor flee market today (boy did it feel good to get out and walk). We were looking for a wagon for Sierra, she has out grown her stroller (she's 41 inches tall and 35 1/2 pounds), but still can't handle really long walks (like at the zoo or the Renaissance faire). I can't really carry her and Mark can only carry her for so long before his arms hurt, hence the search for a wagon.
We didn't find one, there were some there, but they were already sold or they wanted almost as much for it has the stores (they weren't even in good shape). What we did find was an exersaucer for $8 (in stores they are $40 and up), some really good (cheap) produce and some old friends of mine that are also friends of my sisters (Missie).
I asked them how she was doing (and by the time that you read this) she will be in jail for writing bad checks. But that's not all. Not even close. She also has late Late Stage 4 breast cancer. She put off getting treatment because she doesn't have insurance and refused to call the American Cancer Society (they now help people with cancer that can't afford treatment). She is not expected to survive the year.
Is this what I get for praying? In the last few years, everything that I have prayed for, well let's just say that I got the opposite. I prayed like there was no tomorrow for both my mother-in-law and my father-in-law to get well, so that they could be there for their kids and grand kids (more for the grand kids). They are both gone, and missed terribly. :( I prayed for my mom to get better (or for Ralph to get the crap beat out of him), neither happened. I'd like to say that I prayed for Dee Dee to be ok, but I didn't, I just knew without a doubt that she would be. For Missie though, I had people across the country praying for her speedy recovery, and now it looks as though it will be a speedy death. So if this is what I get for praying, I have to say that I am done with it. I still believe that Jesus is the one and only Lord and savior and they only way into Heaven, but I can't find it in me to pray anymore. Not if it only leads to someone that I love dying.
2 comments:
We don't always understand God's will, but it is always perfect. Don't stop praying for your sister...it just might be your prayers that lead her to God herself, and I will be praying for you my dear sweet wonderful friend, for peace and understanding to flow over you.
I think that you may be right. Just yesterday I told Mark that more than anything I would love to see a photo of my little brother in his cap and gown. And today, Missie called me and invited me to his graduation, I spoke to him as well and he said that he really wants us there. How cool is that?
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