New Year's Promises

I have given up on the premise of resolutions, no one ever keeps them, so why do it? I have decided to make promises to myself instead.

Number 1: I will lose weight. I am currently at 249 (30 pounds less than the day that Jackson was born). By the end of 2008 I want to be down to (at least) 200. To do this I plan on exercising a minimum of 30 minutes a day (which is 30 minutes more than I do now). Once the weather gets warmer, I am instituting family walks after dinner, Mark is already on board with this.

Number 2: Get my recipes typed, or at least half of them. I have several thousand that need to be typed, so it may take a while. I can work on them at night while everyone else is sleeping for about 30 minutes a night (or approximately 4 recipes a night). I also want to add one new recipe to the menu every other week (at least).

Number 3: Find mine and Mark's bedroom. This may be the hardest to do, you see one half of our room is our bed, which looks good. The other half has our dresser a couple of storage pieces and a bunch of junk piled up in front of it, that no one but me seems to care about. There is so much crap that getting to Mark's side of the bed can be tricky. And don't get me started on the closet, the more that I try to clean it the more Mark just throws stuff in it.

Number 4: Not only stay in touch with friends, but family. This year, I almost lost my older sister and my paternal grandmother at the same time. By the grace of God they are both still with us, my sister survived Cancer and Grandma Bea reached the ripe old age of 94. But I have 2 other sisters that I don't talk to nearly as often as I should, neither of them even know that they have a nephew. I'm not even sure if my oldest sister, Dana, knows about Sierra-Lynn.

And last but not least, number 5: Ban certain four and five letter words from my vocabulary. I find that when I am stressed (or really tired) I use words that I don't want the kids using and I need to stop. Not real sure how I am going to do that.

MEN!

I know that I shouldn't be too terribly mad at Mark, but the man knows that I don't like to be lied to or to have important information withheld from me. What do he and Dr. Foster do? They keep probably the biggest most important thing from me.

I knew that something was very wrong on the 11th of December, while trying to bring Jackson into the world, I just didn't know how wrong things were. For a while before we went to the hospital, I was overcome by this over whelming feeling that I was going to go into the hospital to have him and I was never going to see my little girl again.

Mark just told me tonight that the reason for the c-section, was because my blood pressure dropped to 80/10 and that the doctor told him that he had two options. Option 1: both Jackson and myself could die on the table; or option 2: a c-section. He went with option 2, I didn't really want to have major surgery, but it beats the hell out of being dead. I'm just pissed that he kept it from me for almost three weeks.

More Sleep, Please.

Well I made it through the first day taking care of Sierra-Lynn and Jackson alone. Dee Dee and Hannah came by for a few minutes and we swapped Christmas gifts. Truth be told Dee Dee just wanted to see the kids.

Sierra-Lynn got two games (Hi ho cherry-o, and Backyardigans memory), a barbie car, another barbie (happy happy joy joy), some paint stuff, colored pencils and some other stuff. Jackson got a toy for his car seat, some Baby Einstein blocks, a onesi and a heffulump (from Pooh Bear). He also got a penguin pacifier holder, he isn't real sure of that, but it will work great for when we go bye bye. Sierra-Lynn has already beat me 3 times at Hi ho cherry-o, tomorrow I'm kicking her butt at memory (hopefully).

I am sooooooo very very sleepy. Jackson was up all night long, and I mean all night. I put him down at midnight and he was back up at one and would not go back to sleep. Then I had the kids by myself so sleep was out of the question. Maybe he will sleep tonight, if not, Mark has the weekend off, so relief will come.

Well, I'm going to try to catch some ZZZZZZ's before Jackson is due for another bottle. Night all.

Merry Christmas!!!

Sorry that I was unable to post last night, I fell asleep on the couch waiting for Jackson to wake up to eat. How long until he sleeps through the night and is awake most of the day? Just kidding, I miss Sierra-Lynn being this little. I miss her needing Mark and I to do things for her.Her and I played "Trouble" after dinner today, the little turd beat me. She has a tendency to do that when you play a game with her, but she does pretty well when she loses, so I guess it's okay. I asked her today (and everyday) if she is ready to send Jackson back, she looks at me with the cutest look on her face and says, "No Mommy, he's a keeper." She constantly wants to hold him and feed him and love on him, especially when he is sleeping, which wakes him up, then he is crabby.Tomorrow is my first day alone with both of the kids, to tell you the truth, I am a little scared. What if I spend so much time with Jackson that Sierra-Lynn feels unloved? Or what if I spend so much time with Sierra-Lynn that Jackson feels unloved? How do you find a happy medium? Wish me luck, I know that I am going to need it, but if I can make it through tomorrow I know that I'll be fine.

Speaking of those who are doing fine. Jackson had a doctors appointment today. His bump has gotten a little smaller. If he still has it when he is a month old, they are going to ultrasound it, to make sure that it is not attached to his spine. It doesn't appear to be, but it is hard to tell. They will also try to find out what it is then and make sure that it is not cancerous. I don't think that it will be, according to Mark all of the Bennett men have them (he does and so did his dad), theirs are on their heads though. He is still at 9 lbs 4 oz, just like last week, he has been given until he is a month old to get back to his birth weight, before we start to worry.

Splish Splash

Jackson had his first official bath today (not a sponge bath). He loved it. He kept trying to leap out of my arms and into the water. I wish that you could have seen him, he was so cute. Mark put a little water on his head and he arched his back and put the top of his head in the water. He had the biggest smile. The only time that he cried was when it was time to get out. That he wasn't happy about.

Sierra-Lynn, on the other, hand bitched and moaned about taking her bath. I even washed her hair instead of Daddy, and she still wasn't happy. She was tired from our day today though. We finally got to make our pinecone birdfeeders. We also made chocolate chip cookies (I put pecans in mine, yum-o). After dinner we went in search of Christmas lights, there weren't many this year. That was a big let down, but what can you do?

I'll try to post photos and a brief recap of our Christmas for everyone tomorrow. Til then, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

My Babies

Sierra-Lynn was finally able to track down Santa. It took a little time, but she found him on Dec. 22, at McDonald's. Her wish list; a Glade light show, a guitar and a stuffed puppy. I keep telling her that at tax time we are going to take her to Build a Bear so that she can make her own puppy, but she wants one now. (Like that child needs anything else that is stuffed, her bed is half covered with stuffed animals plus she has some hanging on her wall.)

Well, I'm off to do dishes (and bottles).

Is it bedtime YET!

I just wanted to give all of you an update on my life this past week. Jackson has christened my couch twice, he has peed on daddy twice. Once was when Mark forgot to "aim it down" after putting his diaper on. ;) Sierra-Lynn has gotten to both hold and feed him (she is so loving this whole big sister thing).

I have finally gotten caught up on laundry (I have been doing it ALL week), can someone get me maid service for Christmas? Today was the first day since getting home that we didn't absolutely have to be somewhere, that was so very very nice. Sunday, Mark went into St. Charles to get gifts from adopt a family, we totally didn't expect as much as what was there. We're talking 13 boxes and a 16 inch bike for Sierra-Lynn. Monday, we had a WIC appointment, Jackson is doing great. I, on the other hand, have an extremely low iron level (8.7; normal is between 11 and 15), so I pretty much feel like death warmed over only cold all the time. After which we went for dinner, then to Wal-Mart so that Mark could show off "his little boy" to all of his co workers. We left the house at 1:30 and got home at around 7:30, talk about a long day.

Tuesday, Jackson had his first doctor's appointment. I swear Sierra-Lynn has never asked so many questions in her life. She wanted to know everything the Dr. Puetz was doing. Don't ask me what went on, I have no idea. I was so out of it. Then we went to the video store and, you guessed it, back to Wal-Mart to find people that had not seen Jackson yet.

Wednesday was my doctor's appointment. I am now staple free, but in more pain than when they were in. I don't know if this is normal, I hope it is. Jackson is now a member of the wireless community, his belly button stump made him mad, so he pulled it off. He is also eating 3 to 3 1/2 oz at a time. He looks like a one month old again. He is also doing sit ups and push ups (at 9 days old). Sierra-Lynn did the same thing.

Monday we were supposed to have a Girl Scout meeting, but for some reason it was cancelled. Sierra-Lynn was crushed. Hopefully tomorrow we will have the time to do the project that she was supposed to do then, pinecone birdfeeders. I also want to watch her new movie with her. I feel bad about not having a whole lot of time to spend with her one on one the past few days, I have just been so tired (and sore, we can't forget sore).

Enjoy the photos and I will be back in a few days.

HE'S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My little man is finally here, and we are FINALLY home. Although I still feel those stupid id braclets on my wrist, how annoying!

Jackson Alexander Bennett made his arrival via c-section, on Dec. 11, 2007, at 10:28 p.m. He weighed in at 10 lbs 2 oz, and was 22 inches long. Sierra-Lynn is all about being a big sister, and she is so cute holding him (only on the couch, with her butt all the way against the back, and me or Daddy sitting right next to her.

Here are some pictures of my gremlin. Enjoy!

Tag You're It!

A while ago I was tagged by my friend Juli, obligating me to tell 10 random facts about me that some of you may know and some that you might not. Well I did 12. It also entitled me to tag 10 people of my own to tell me 10 random facts. I can only think of 2 at the moment (that I know read), they are Becky Bethel and Diana Vandemark, my two wonderful sisters-in-law (and hopefully in-heart), I also want to tag my dad, I don't know if he reads this, but if he does he is far to damn quite. Anyone else who reads this is welcome to play along.

Happy reading.

1. I have never been able to handle it when someone is throwing a tantrum (this includes babies). Imagine how interesting this made babysitting?

2. My ability to judge people sucks. I have been known to think of someone as a friend only to have them back stab me at the first possible chance (this has happened more than once.)

3. I'm a klutz. Just Monday I fell in the bathroom, almost broke my foot and hit my tummy on the tub. Don't worry Jackson is fine.

4. I can't tolerate lying, even little ones. If someone lies about the little things, then what happens when it comes to the big stuff? I would rather someone hurt my feeling with the truth than lie to me.

5. I HATE having people do things for my (I am literally in He-- right now, as I can't even walk to the bathroom without someone with me.) I can know walk on my own, with little pain.

6. I would rather do something for someone else than for myself. Example: given the opportunity to make an outfit or handbag, I would rather do it for someone else (usually Sierra-Lynn) than to make anything for me (the same goes for buying anything).

7. I love anything that has to do with the Renaissance time (the 1500's). Everything was just so beautiful then. Alright not everything about that time, I don't care for the fact that women had no rights, but we did get to wear some pretty cool stuff.

8. Family means everything to me, I just don't mean that much to them, apparently.

9. I want to become a published, well known, author (I just don't have the time or the energy to do it, not do I know where to start [hence my blog]). It's about the closest that I will get.

10. I, like Juli, hate mullets. Billy Ray didn't even look good with one, and just think I live across the street from a woman who sports one. Imagine a very thin woman with dark brown hair (in a mullet) a white t-shirt and jeans (her uniform), its all she will wear.

11. If asked a question (or to do something like this) I will be brutally honest.

12. I think that I am allergic to pain.

7 Days and Counting. . . .

Okay, technically it's 8 days, but by the time that anyone reads this it will be 7 days until Jackson is due to make his appearance. Mark and I finally got his room completely ready today. Well, not 100%, I would still like to get Papa's glider from Aunt Dee Dee, but other than that it is ready for him.

His bed is up and adorable and ready for him to be laid in it. His clothes are washed, folded/or hung up and put away. His toys have been sanitized (and checked for possible recalls). All that is missing is a cute little boy to put in it. Seven days or less and he will be in my arms, hopefully my ankle will be feeling better by then.

I made the mistake of standing on it all day yesterday. Sierra-Lynn and I were making Christmas goodies for her Girl Scout Christmas party tomorrow and we lost track of time. I didn't get a chance to sit down until 2:45 in the afternoon. Then we still had to go to Wal-Mart and 4 Doors Down. Sierra-Lynn was in need of jeans, she had two pairs, both of which are at Aunt Dee Dee's house. Mark went in (alone) and came out with 2 pairs of jeans ($1.49 and $2.49), 2 shirts ($1 each), and a Christmas dress ($4.99), I had already made one for her, but this one matches Jackson's outfit better. All for less than the cheapest jeans at Wal-Mart. After all the running was the act of making dinner and doing the dishes.

TYLENOL NO LONGER WORKS FOR THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today was not much better for me, although Mark did make dinner, homemade Chinese and boy did it taste good. Tomorrow I go back to the doctor (happy happy joy joy). Then, on the 10th, its off to the hospital to have my little gremlin (what else do you call a baby that growls at you all the time). I can't wait to meet the little guy, but at the same time, I am scared out of my mind. I can't shake the thoughts that I need to spend as much time as possible with Sierra-Lynn, because after next week I won't be around. I don't know why I have these thoughts, but I feel like I should be getting all of my affairs in order. I mentioned it to Mark and he is dismissive about it all. Here I am scared that I might die and he doesn't want to even discuss it. I know that it is probably/most likely just my irrational side messing with me, but I really don't want my little girl to grow up without me.

Who would be there to tell her and Jackson about who I am on the inside? My three sisters or my brother? Highly unlikely. I haven't heard from Dana in years, Kim text to land lined me the day after Thanksgiving, the last time that I spoke to Missie was early October. As for my brother, Joey, haven't heard from him since his high school graduation back in April/May. Mark's sisters? Neither Becky or Diana knows me all that well (and truth be told I don't know that they really like me all that much). Like I said when I was tagged (Juli's blog), I am a horrible judge of people. They may really like me, I just don't know (once again my irrational side coming through). Still, I can't rely on my family to let my kids know who I am, hell they don't even know who they are, and no one really keeps in touch with anyone else. Heaven forbid you want to discuss someone that is no longer with us, it's like you've asked for top secret government stuff.

Also I don't think that Mark is equipped to handle two kids on his own. I don't think that he could handle Sierra-Lynn on his own. He has zero patience and you need an over abundance with kids, as anyone with kids knows. Anyway, I feel much better now, thank you for putting up with my ranting (I needed it).