Okay, technically it's 8 days, but by the time that anyone reads this it will be 7 days until Jackson is due to make his appearance. Mark and I finally got his room completely ready today. Well, not 100%, I would still like to get Papa's glider from Aunt Dee Dee, but other than that it is ready for him.
His bed is up and adorable and ready for him to be laid in it. His clothes are washed, folded/or hung up and put away. His toys have been sanitized (and checked for possible recalls). All that is missing is a cute little boy to put in it. Seven days or less and he will be in my arms, hopefully my ankle will be feeling better by then.
I made the mistake of standing on it all day yesterday. Sierra-Lynn and I were making Christmas goodies for her Girl Scout Christmas party tomorrow and we lost track of time. I didn't get a chance to sit down until 2:45 in the afternoon. Then we still had to go to Wal-Mart and 4 Doors Down. Sierra-Lynn was in need of jeans, she had two pairs, both of which are at Aunt Dee Dee's house. Mark went in (alone) and came out with 2 pairs of jeans ($1.49 and $2.49), 2 shirts ($1 each), and a Christmas dress ($4.99), I had already made one for her, but this one matches Jackson's outfit better. All for less than the cheapest jeans at Wal-Mart. After all the running was the act of making dinner and doing the dishes.
TYLENOL NO LONGER WORKS FOR THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today was not much better for me, although Mark did make dinner, homemade Chinese and boy did it taste good. Tomorrow I go back to the doctor (happy happy joy joy). Then, on the 10th, its off to the hospital to have my little gremlin (what else do you call a baby that growls at you all the time). I can't wait to meet the little guy, but at the same time, I am scared out of my mind. I can't shake the thoughts that I need to spend as much time as possible with Sierra-Lynn, because after next week I won't be around. I don't know why I have these thoughts, but I feel like I should be getting all of my affairs in order. I mentioned it to Mark and he is dismissive about it all. Here I am scared that I might die and he doesn't want to even discuss it. I know that it is probably/most likely just my irrational side messing with me, but I really don't want my little girl to grow up without me.
Who would be there to tell her and Jackson about who I am on the inside? My three sisters or my brother? Highly unlikely. I haven't heard from Dana in years, Kim text to land lined me the day after Thanksgiving, the last time that I spoke to Missie was early October. As for my brother, Joey, haven't heard from him since his high school graduation back in April/May. Mark's sisters? Neither Becky or Diana knows me all that well (and truth be told I don't know that they really like me all that much). Like I said when I was tagged (Juli's blog), I am a horrible judge of people. They may really like me, I just don't know (once again my irrational side coming through). Still, I can't rely on my family to let my kids know who I am, hell they don't even know who they are, and no one really keeps in touch with anyone else. Heaven forbid you want to discuss someone that is no longer with us, it's like you've asked for top secret government stuff.
Also I don't think that Mark is equipped to handle two kids on his own. I don't think that he could handle Sierra-Lynn on his own. He has zero patience and you need an over abundance with kids, as anyone with kids knows. Anyway, I feel much better now, thank you for putting up with my ranting (I needed it).
No comments:
Post a Comment