The Pictures I Promised

I just wanted to get some photos on here that I have been saying I would post. Starting with Miss Sierra-Lynn in her cheer leading outfit.

Next we have some pictures from Christmas with the in-laws. Aren't they cute? It's just too bad that I couldn't get Sierra-Lynn to take off her coat. :(

After much begging ;) I was able to get Becky to take a pic of Mark, Sierra-Lynn and me. (Hopefully there will be a lot less of me this time next year.)

And for the last of the Christmas photos.
Well, there you have it. I will see you all in the new year.

Christmas with the pains in the Butt! ;)

Okay, I didn't expect last night to go the way that it did. First, Sierra-Lynn was (with the exception of not wanting to take off her coat and stay awhile) extremely well behaved. Hannah, on the other hand got in trouble for knocking her mommy's lamp off of the table. Sierra was also very loving. Normally when we go to Dee Dee and Justin's house, Sierra won't have anything to do with either one of them, last night she was all about the love. She even rode Aunt Becky (or Becky Boo as Sierra calls her) like a horse. I almost got a picture of both Sierra and Hannah on Becky's back, but by the time that I out the camera, Hannah was sitting in front of Aunt Becky and wouldn't get back on her back.
The one low point of the night was Dee Dee getting sick. Every time that food was mentioned, she was in the bathroom throwing up. When we started dinner she complained of a tummy ache and went to lay down, when she came back, boy did she look bad. We are talking death warmed over here. I hope that she starts feeling better.
This year was a little on the weird side though. We were down by 4. It was the first Christmas without my in-laws (Bob and Gloria), and Mike and Zach stayed in Oklahoma. Zach wanted to stay near his girlfriend. After seeing a picture of his girlfriend, I fully understand why Mike stayed to keep an eye on him (better babysit Zach than have to babysit a grand baby). ;)

For anyone who bought a Tickle Me Elmo (or received one) I feel for you. Hannah got one from Aunt Becky and Uncle Mike and is scared of it. While she was playing with it, it hit her foot and she freaked out. Dee Dee had to turn it off and Hannah still wouldn't play with it. Makes you wonder if it is really the kids who want the "hot" new toys or if it is the parents that want them. Thanks to Becky Boo Sierra has now entered to "Barbie" stage. Thanks a lot, I was hoping to have at least one more year without that toothpick bimbo, but Sierra loves the thing. The one that she got came with her very own kitchen (her favorite thing).

Mark got a promotion!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As of right now, he is the lead associate for the meat department, but sometime in January he should be the meat manager. Not bad for only being with Wal-mart for 1 year. I wonder what he will be this time next year.

I had one more resolution to add,
6. Have a baby. Mark and I decided that we want to have at least 2 kids, but I don't want them to be too far apart in age, so if it doesn't happen by the end of next year Sierra-Lynn will be it.

New Years Resolutions

Yup, its that time of year. The time to say that you will do something knowing that you really won't. Here are mine for 2007.

1) I plan to lose weight. I would like to lose about 5 pounds per month until I get down to 150 pounds or a size 8 which ever one comes first.

2) Get (and keep) my house clean. (This will probably be the first to fall.) Just being honest folks.

3) Spend more time with Sierra-Lynn and Mark doing things as a family. Whether it's playing a board game or going for a drive.

4) Keep in touch with friends (better than I have been)

5) Stop putting myself last (which I did again here). I need to take better care of myself and try to get at the very least 10 minutes of me time a day.

I don't know how well I will do, but I now have them written down and have told someone. I hear that just by doing that I (or anyone else) should have a better success rate. #1 has been at the top of my to do list for the last 4 years (I have only lost 60 pounds in all that time). So we will see just how well I do in 2007. I only hope that it is better for everyone than 2006.

Oh, one more thing before I go. I just found out that one of my best friends, Delaney, is expecting another bundle of joy. She is due on July 10 (that is also Ella (her daughter and Sierra's best friends birthday)). Another friend of mine, Brandy (who lives right here in my neighborhood) is also pregnant with baby number two, hers is expected to make its entrance sometime in June. I also want to congratulate the former manager of Orchard Farm Parc, Tracy, on the arrival of her little girl today. Yes, it is baby central up here. Just last Friday, there were 4 expectant moms at playgroup (none of the above were there).

If I don't see you. Happy New Year.

Going To Kansas City, Kansas City Here I Come

On Uncle David's last day in the great state of misery, sorry Missouri, we made our way from our home to Kansas City. As kind of a belated Christmas present we took him to the cemetery to see his dad's (my granddad's grave). Something that he has not done in almost 14 years, the last time that he was there, we were laying my mom to rest.



The trick was to get in to KC and back out again without running into Grandma Dottie (the witch of the west, as my mom used to say) or my Uncle Carl. He would have told her that we were there and that would have been the end of my Uncle David. Grandma is already upset at him because the doctors in the KC area won't see her because she didn't sign up for part B or part D and she has holes in her ears. Now for those of you who don't know, David currently lives in the greater Knoxville, TN area, and there is really nothing that he can do about the situation, but that doesn't stop her. According to her, everything is his fault. She has issues (365 a year, if not more). ;)



Uncle David left last night, after Sierra went to bed. He couldn't handle being the reason for her tears. He got all of 5 miles away and started crying and almost came back (he didn't want to leave bitty one). Anyway, he is now back in Knoxville thinking very hard about moving back to Missouri. If only something could be done about grandma, she is the one thing that could keep him in Tennessee. He has no family there, he is fed up with his job and he has no prospective girl friend(s). He did tell me to ask if anyone knows someone that would be interested (he wanted me to put one certain photo on here, but I so don't think that will be happening (unless someone requests it)).



We (David and I) were planning on sending this photo to her to let her know that we were there, but gone again. Yes, we may here about it when and if she were to call, but that's the wonderful thing about telephones, if you don't like what the other person has to say, you hang up. It's even better if you have caller ID, then you don't even have to answer if you don't want to talk to a certain person. What do you think? Should we do it?

Christmas Photos

I apologize for the delay in getting these out to you. My computer is being a pain, my uncle was visiting and we took a road trip yesterday. Tonight we have dinner and presents at my sis-in-law's house, complete with presents. Should be interesting? Just kidding Dee Dee.

This is how Sierra-Lynn responded to Uncle David (as soon as she heard his voice). I have never seen her take to someone so quickly.












Sierra-Lynn opening her brand new Cabbage Patch Kid. Its one with the color changing hair. She thinks that it is the coolest. Her name is Valerie Chole and she was born on Nov. 1, just like Sierra-Lynn. Yes, I am aware that the name is a little wacked, but I didn't chose it, the people at the cabbage patch did. Sierra would have chosen Cocoa (all her babies have that name).








Here is me with Uncle David shortly after he arrived. I didn't realize how much I missed him until he showed up.

And lastly we have Mark and Sierra-Lynn opening the batteries that go with their remote controlled trucks. Sierra loves hers, but is scared of Mark's. Probably because he keeps trying to run her over with it, that and it is loud (exspecially on the kitchen floor).

Merry Christmas

Well, another Christmas has come and gone, but the most amazing thing has happened. Sierra-Lynn has been happy. Not once in the last 3 days has she brought up Papa. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but she's not crying, she's all smiles. I know that it is because of her Great Uncle David, but I so don't care. I just wonder what she is going to do when he goes home.

Oh well, best not to think about that now. It's best just to enjoy the here and now and not think too much about what might happen or what might have been. You just leave yourself open for a lot of stress that you don't need.

Anyway, Sierra-Lynn made out like a bandit. She got a nap mat with match pillow, a apron, a pink dress, a white denim jacket with matching pants, a Christmas CD, a V-smile game (Little Mermaid), a Cabbage Patch doll, a bunch of stuff for her kitchen center and some movies from her daddy and me. Santa brought her a Backyardigans Bathtub Boat. She was also surprised with a visit from another jolly fat man, Uncle David. He brought her and her daddy remote controlled trucks and "The Fox and the Hound 2". If you have not seen it, it is a very cute movie. Reba voices a spunky red head dog named Dixie.

Hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas and I'll be back later (have to do the photos then).

4 Days And Counting

With our Christmas shopping complete (with the exception of bed pants that I have to finish for Mark), I can honestly say that I will be glad when Monday gets here. I may just get an extra special gift this year. My Uncle David, who took me into his home when no one else wanted to do anything for me, just may arrive at my door on Christmas morning. Isn't that the best?

I haven't seen him for about 6 years (maybe more), but he has always been my favorite uncle. Of course that is probably because he is the only person in my family that truly cares about me, but I am so tired of dwelling on the negative side of my family that I am just going to leave that alone. He lives all the way in Knoxville, TN, so it is quite the trip. I do hope that he can make it up. If not, a coworker of his is going to play mailman and bring our presents up for him. Maybe I can get him to take Unkie Daisy's gifts back with him. No, that is not misspelled, that is what I used to call him when I was little.

Did you know that if he does make it up, he will be the first member of my side of the family (extended) that has seen Sierra-Lynn. Even her grandpa hasn't done that. She has met one of my three sisters, my brother and four of the seven cousins, but they are still closer than a great uncle. I think? I know, a dangerous habit, I can't help it.

I know that it is a little late, but I wanted to mention a trip that we took last week. After weeks of listening to "Mom, I want to play with Hannah!!!!!!!!!!". I was finally able to talk Mark into making the 30 minute drive to her house. Sierra had the time of her life. Her and her cousin and a little girl that Dee Dee babysits played for almost 2 hours. I took several pictures, but I forgot to ask if it would be okay to put Hannah on here so, until I do, no pics of that. Sorry.

If I don't post again until after, I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

Look for my resolutions in a future post.

OMG

Will this week never end? Yes, I know that it only Tuesday, but I just want this week over. I hasn't been anything like two weeks ago when the truck was in the shop, but my marriage might be in danger.

You see, the thing is, Mark does not know how to communicate. He would rather keep everything inside, and then blow up at me for no reason. Take last night for an example. My Uncle David called. I have not seen him in around 6 years, and he has been trying to be there for us (Mark, Sierra-Lynn and myself) ever since my father in law passed away (which is more than my "father" has done). Well every time that he calls Mark gets all upset and sulks in the other room. Last night, I decided that I had had enough and I called him on his BS. At first he said that his 'tude was because of the calls interfering in "family time".

This, just so you know is utter crap. I let him know that, and then told him that I would be sleeping on the couch. This is when Mark finally decides to tell the truth. He has been bitten by the green eyed monster. He has been missing his dad, but he didn't want to upset me be telling me. How dense can the man be? It upset me that instead of talking to me, he shuts me out and then trys to take one of the few family members that I have away from me. I would never do that to him.

Then, I get Christmas card and letter from my Aunt Carolyn. The basic gist of it was that I am a bad mom and that I should have never been born, because it was a mistake for my mom and dad to get married. The nerve of her. That woman has a lot to learn about .........everything. The reason that I am a bad mom; my little one is still upset about the death of her beloved Papa. According to her, young children are selfish and self-centered. So when someone dies, they may cry for a day or two, but then they think about themselves and stop being upset. Do you know a child like this? I don't. Whenever Sierra-Lynn sees a person that is hurting, she starts to hurt. She is one of the most loving children ever. The bond that she had with her Papa was closer than the bond that she has with me, they were inseparable for the first three and a half years of her life. So there Aunt Carolyn.

Cookies Anyone

Today was spent making cookies and candies. Baking is now and has always been one of mine and Sierra-Lynn's favorite pastimes. So, needless to say we had an excellent mother/daughter day. We did a lot of baking before she was born. That was before I learned that just because I make something doesn't mean that I have to eat all of it. Perhaps that's why I gained 150 pounds while I was pregnant?

We made 4 dozen chunky oatmeal cookies, 4 dozen ultimate chocolate chip cookies, 15+ dozen cookie dough truffles (6 dozen with mini cherry chips and 7+ dozen with mini chocolate chips) which I still have to coat with chocolate and butterscotch, and finally 3 lbs of chocolate peanut squares (they are like square peanut butter cups).

This is only the start of our holiday baking. Tomorrow we are going to make sugar cookies and peanut butter cookies (Sierra's fav). Then, on Monday we will be making hint-of-berry bonbons, pecan sandies and walnut baklava. We would have done all of this today, but couldn't for 2 reasons: 1) we need nilla wafers and a lot of nuts (for the bonbons, pecan sandies and walnut baklava) 2) my feet (and everything else) are killing me. Of course that is to be expected when you spend 6 hours straight making any kind of food. Oh, did I mention that I was barefoot?

I know what you are thinking. And yes, 1 of my new year's resolutions is to lose weight (I'm thinking 5 pounds per month sounds good). It gives me a real goal, not some random goal that is unreachable because its not clear. And no, all of this is not for us. I like my sweets as much as the next person, but that much sugar would put anyone in a coma. Some of the goodies will go to our friends and neighbors, you know spread some holiday cheer.

Til next time.

I Need HELP

I am truly at my wits end. Either that or I am the worlds worst mommy. Sierra-Lynn is hurting and I can't do anything to make it better.

Alright, let me start at the beginning. When she woke up this morning, she was bawling. She then tells me that she doesn't want to celebrate Christmas, EVER. So, like any good mom would do, I asked her why. That only set off more tears.

After holding her for at least 15 minutes (most of which she spends trying to get away from me), she finally tells me why she doesn't want to have Christmas. It is because Papa is not here, she doesn't want to do it without him. Bless her little heart. Anyway, after she tells me this, she looks up at the ceiling and yells (I swear as loud as she can) "I hate Papa."

I know that she doesn't. I know that she is just upset. What I don't know (and feel that I need to) is how to make her be okay with him being gone. I don't know how to make her see that he didn't want to die. I don't want her to hurt anymore, and I don't know how to keep it from happening. So, like I said, I must be the worlds worst mommy. Mommys are supposed to know these things, aren't they?

So, please, if you know how to help, leave a comment, email, call, write, or hell send up a smoke signal. Yes, yes, I know, I'm supposed to be watching what I say (or in this case write), sorry it happens.

Well Then

First things first, the truck is back. Whether or not it is going to work right, I can't say. But it is back.

Ok, enough about that. I have finally finished Sierra-Lynn's Christmas dress. Although I may have to make her a different one. I made the fatal mistake of letting a 4 year old pick out the fabric. The one that she chose is very beautiful, but very fragile. Just laying on my sewing table, the bodice and the skirt started to separate. Here are a couple shots of her in it. Gorgeous, isn't it?

In an earlier posting, I had mentioned that I made Sierra-Lynn a cheer leader outfit. I finally got a photo of her wearing it. It will be the first and last photo shoot in it (the spanky pants are too tight for her to wear again). Oh well, stuff happens. Stay tuned for the pics (it's not happening tonight, it takes too long to download pictures).

I have made a decision. Do you want to know what it was? That's irrelevant isn't it? My decision is; I'm going to be a better person. You may wonder exactly what I mean by this. Well here it is. I'm going to read the Bible, I have tried many times and have not made it through. I now have a new approach, I'm starting with the new testament. A friend said that that is the easiest way to get through it, I figure it is worth a shot. I am also going to clean up my language. I know that it will be hard, but I don't want Sierra-Lynn going to Preschool next fall and getting kicked out for having a potty mouth. I have done some serious soul searching and I know that if I really try then I can succeed. I have had no problems cutting potty words from my vocabulary when I am at Brandy's house (she's the friend mentioned above), so I should be able to do it at home. Right?

Well we will see what happens.

Ba Humbug

Let me just say that this week has been one of the worst in my life (and believe me there have been some bad ones).

We will start with our lovely ice storm that came in last Thursday, causing Mark to miss a day of work (Saturday). Moving on to Monday, Mark gets to work, only to find that he has no brakes. The brake line ruptured (that was $130 to fix). We get the truck back the same day, which was about the only bright spot. It seems to work fine, so we go about life as usual.

On Tuesday, we run some errands and pay some bills when Mark gets home from work. Everything is fine.............. until we go to the bank/grocery store (they are in the same parking lot). After taking care of our banking and picking up milk (and other things), we pile into the truck. Only problem, it won't start. I go in to get someone to give us a jump. Guess what, it doesn't work. Again we call a tow truck. Another $210 and 2 days later, we have the truck back with a guarantee that it will work with no problems. Sure.

It is now Friday, and once again we were left stranded at a store, this time Walmart. The stupid thing died when we pulled into the parking lot and refused to start, there was no fuel getting to the engine. So, it is once again in the shop, this time getting a new fuel pump. This time the price tag is well over $400. I swear I would love nothing better than to blow that thing sky high.

We got a visit from Lynne Axley, Sierra-Lynn's parent educator (PAT). They held their annual Winter Celebration (a.k.a. Santa Night) on the 6th. Considering the fact that we didn't have a car, Sierra didn't get to go. Do you know how hard it was to hear her cry because she wasn't going to get to see Santa? ;(

Hopefully next week will be better.

My Model

I don't know what it is about Sierra-Lynn, but when she sees you with a camera (still) she immediately starts posing. Through out this post you will see several pictures of her "striking a pose" as daddy puts it. I don't know that I would want her to actually be a model, but as long as her clothes stay on and she has a good head on her shoulders, then I guess that would be fine. I want her to follow her dreams, not mine. Now if I can just remember that when she gets older, I hope so.

Speaking of daddy, you did the sweetest thing today. Her read her a book. Now, I know what you are thinking, that's not a big deal. It is for him, he is a slow reader, and doesn't like to read out loud, although he has been getting better at it. This was the third book that he has read her this week. So its a really big thing for him and for her, she looks up to him so much.





Anyway, the video camera is a completely different story, bring that out and she clams up. Although, yesterday I did get her doing a cheer. We found this adorable cheerleader doll that says five cheers (no, we didn't buy it, Christmas is right around the corner). One of the cheers goes as follows : We're number one, we can't be number two, we're gonna beat the whoopsies out of you, the whoopsies out of you.





She now has this cheer down pat. She even performed it for the camera, now if I just had a cable to connect my camcorder to the computer so that you could see it too. Oh, well. She also knows several of the cheers from the "Bring It On" movies (well the first and last, the second one sucked). Her Aunt Dee Dee will hate it, she doesn't care for cheerleaders (thinks that they are stuck up).



Last year I was talked into making her her very own cheer leading outfit. Its green, purple and white with the word P-jink embroidered on the front of the top. Its cute. Not that I have a photo of her in it and I can't get her to wear it again (no pom poms), maybe I'll just take a photo of it.





Today was spent holding my little angel. She is feeling even worse today than she was yesterday. We are talking full on runny nose, sneezing and hurting all over. I guess that's what she gets for not knowing when to come in out of the cold. There is nothing worse than when she is sick either. She is so pathetic looking, and the tears don't stop. I did take some photos of Sierra-Lynn laying on the couch, but this thing is giving me trouble downloading (last night it took 55 minutes to down load 4 pictures and another 15 to get them placed right).

Easy Baking

What possessed me to let Mark talk me into letting Sierra-Lynn have an Easy Bake Oven is besides me, but it sure was fun to watch her make cookies with it. Now she wants a Real Meal Oven. They can make an entire meal from appetizer to dessert. What will they come up with next? Here are the photos to prove it.

When we got up this morning (her at 9 am), we had plans to have breakfast and then have a mother/daughter baking day. That didn't quite happen. What did happen was, we took (meaning I) the oven out of its box and proceeded to read the directions. That's what every good mommy does, isn't it? Anyway, everything was fine until I read that we needed a 100 watt light bulb. Sure, because I have scads of those floating around the house. We just replaced all of our regular bulbs with the newer energy saving bulbs (13 watt usage, 60 watts of light). They save us so much $$$, I love them.

Back to the baking, no bulb no baking. That simple. But for those of you with a 3 to 5 year old, you know that when you say that you are going to do something, you find away to make sure that it happens. Well, Mark was at work (and me without a licence or car) had no way to get the much needed equipment had to distract her with some computer time. Yes, I know, outside would have been better, but she has a slight case of the sniffles, so that was not an option.

Mark, due to the roads, didn't come home for lunch. He did call to say hi (Sierra cried). I told him my dilemma and he assured me that by 3:30 pm she would be baking to her little hearts content. Yeah, another meltdown diverted. God bless good daddys. True to his word, when he got home, the light bulbs came with him. She had so much fun. And yes, I made her do everything herself, with the exception of pushing the pan all the way through the oven, that I did. No sense in letting her get burnt again is there?

She mixed the batter, then rolled it into 6 little balls (I separated it for her so that they would be equal in size). She then put them into the tiny pans and pushed then flat. I even let her put the pans into the oven, I then pushed them all the way into to it so that they could bake. Those little light bulbs work better than they used to when I was a kid. Sigh. After they were done baking she took some lavender candy melts that we had put in the warming area and iced the cookies. Scooby sprinkles were added to the tops and the cookies were done. Aren't they cute? Tomorrow, maybe we will make a tiny two layer yellow cake with chocolate icing (the other mixes that came with it).

Days like today, are ones that every mother wishes she could have with her child. I wish that I could have more, but only when she is under the weather is she a sweet little girl that wants to do something with mommy. Any other time she is loud and won't sit down. It makes me wonder why I taught her how to walk and talk. Just kidding. I love hearing her voice, I just wish that she wouldn't repeat herself a thousand times. Cause there is only so many times that you can hear "introduce yourself" in a row before you just want to pull your hair out. For those of you who have yet to see it, that line comes from Bring It On All: Or Nothing. I have seen that movie more times than I can count and have grounded Sierra from it until sometime next year. That's what she gets for saying shabooya all the time.

Snow Day

The snow has finally arrived. We got about 8 inches, some places were much deeper (darn snow drifts). I thought that I would share with you some of the photos taken while enjoying all the wonders that mother nature had to offer us today. I had promised to throw a snowball or two at Mark for my friend Juli, and true to my word I did (he threw a few at me for her as well). Mark thought that it would be fun to shovel the street. Yep, that's a man for you, always finding new and exciting ways to make life difficult.

I am finding it sad that he has to go back to work tomorrow, I love spending time with him on his days off. He is so much more relaxed than on the days that he works. On those days he comes home in a funk, and is absolutely no fun to be around. He has been such a sweet heart today, cleaned the kitchen after he made breakfast, did the laundry and has gotten me everything that he thought I wanted. Who could ask for more? Not this Chick. I did however do something for him last night (but that's all the info that you get on that). As much as I complain about things that he does, I wouldn't change him even the slightest, I love him for him.

Today, after the frostbite faded, we had family movie day (we are not quite through). My pick was "Secret Santa" starring Jennie Garth and then Sierra chose Disney's "Ice Princess". She loves to watch figure skating, I can't wait to take her. Maybe after the first of the year we will go to the Rec Plex. After a little skating we can enjoy my favorite past time; swimming. We only got the chance to go once this summer to the local pool and Mark stayed home, it wasn't nearly as much fun without him. I'm experiencing with drawls. How sad is that? ;) Mark has yet to pick one. I'll let you know what his choice was tomorrow. This makes two family movie days in a row, I love it.

I can't remember when the last time was that I heard from my father, but after reading my horoscope yesterday I can't think of one good reason to bother anymore. It said something along the lines of "time is too short to waste any of it on petty things". Now I am not saying that he is a petty thing, but trying to have a relationship with someone that has no interest in having one with you is pretty stupid (in my opinion). I wish that he could be a part of my life, not for me, but for Sierra-Lynn. He is her only living grandparent, and I feel that she is being short changed because he can't even find the time to send her an email or call her on the phone. What can I do though, you can't make someone care can you? A friend and neighbor (Brandy) thinks that the reason that he keeps his distance is because he feels guilty for not being there for me when I was a child. Maybe she is right, but at this point I don't care.

I just have to show you this. Its a photo of a photo (ok, two photos). One is Sierra-Lynn's birthday picture from last year and the other is me when I was three. Can you tell who is who? I have had some people tell me that they can't. Here's a hint if it stumps you, Sierra has curls (at least she did until it got long). Can you tell that I love my new camera? I can post a photo as soon as I take it. I would have put up one of me, but Mark only took one of me (from the back) and I deemed it unworthy of being blogged, though he may have a different opinion.

Tonight I leave you with a word of caution. Should you chose to search the blogs you may (as I did) come across some with dirty pictures. Not good when you have a 4 year old looking over your shoulder. That and beware of the kitchen knives, they are on the attack. Mine tried to cut off my finger. Ow.

My life, an open book

Lately, I have been compelled to share my life. Not just part, but all. I have no secrets. Now some would say that I have lost it and maybe I have, but you never know until you try.

So, if there is anything that you want to know, just ask.

Its Birthday time again

Today marks what would have been my mother-in-laws 61st birthday. She was a wonderful person, who raised three very bright and caring children. She also managed to find a man that she loved enough to stay with for 40 years. Isn't that amazing in today's society? A lover of diet Pepsi and three musketeers (the candy bar), a loyal follower of Jesus Christ and a good friend she is still loved by all who knew her. Here is a photo of her from my sister-in-law Dee Dee's wedding. (One week from today (Dec 8) marks the 1 year anniversary of her passing.) Wish us luck getting through it in one piece.

I am told that she loved the snow, though I didn't see that first hand, she would have loved today. Well, maybe, we haven't exactly gotten any snow. Just a full days worth of sleet and freezing rain. When will it end? :)

All day I have been asked, by my hug-a-bunch (Sierra-Lynn), "mommy, when can I go play in the snow?" My reply "when we get some snow." I know how frustrating it can be to want something so badly and not be able to get it. My want is a day of quite. Is that possible with a 4 year old? I'm thinking not. I'll deal with the noise, why? Because I wouldn't change to a life without her for the world.

One Down, A Million To Go

Christmas is one of my busiest, yet funnest times of the year. Every year I like to make the people that I love something for Christmas, I feel that it means more than going and getting them something that everyone can get. My favorite people to make things for are my beautiful little girl Sierra-Lynn and my niece Hannah.

Here you see the stockings that I made for Mark, Sierra-Lynn and myself. Aren't they cute? You can't really tell, but Mark's has yellow, red and green stars on a swirled background and mine is light blue with glitter and angels.

Last year they both got brand new wardrobes (which Hannah still can't wear), Sierra-Lynn also got a complete bedding set (pillow sham, comforter and canopy (which she has decided she no longer wants)). This year its embroidered blankets and Christmas Stocking and I am happy to say that they are done. I do still have to make 3 aprons and 2 table runners, along with Sierra-Lynn's Christmas dress. It will be white with a light blue over skirt (it has sparkles), the only issue that I have is shoes. She went from a size 9 to a 10 overnight and none of the dress shoes this time of year are light in color. I guess that I'll have to make it drag the ground so that no one can see that her shoes don't match. I'll figure it out (hopefully).

Well night all and I'll be back either tomorrow or the day after.

We've gone digital

That's right, the Bennetts have gone and gotten themselves a digital camera. God bless those after Thanksgiving sales. After Blitz shopping and a little relaxation we decided that it was time to put up our tree. Last year I was left alone to put up a 7 1/2 foot tall artificial tree by myself, telling my husband that just for making me do that he was responsible for putting it up this year alone. I meant to stick to that, but didn't. I'm such a softy. Oh well, we can't all be mean, I leave that to him. My nut. Pictured left, you see him how he usually is, topless, yet he doesn't want everyone else to know. How bizarre is that?

Once we finally got it all put together it was time for my favorite part, DECORATING. Sierra-Lynn helped us last year, but I don't think that she really got it, this year, however, she had lots of fun. She would have had more, but daddy was being a butt, thus bringing on a Bennett-fit (our name for her tantrums). Of course you would throw a fit too if every time you went near the tree to put on an ornament someone was yelling at you, letting you know that, according to them, you were doing it wrong.

When the dust settled (figuratively speaking) we were finally able to get back to the fun of getting the house ready for the holidays. Last year at a yard sale I found this adorable mother/daughter ornament. Its a two part ornament that is magnetic, Sierra helped me put it up and was amazed that it "stuck together" as she put it. Its got little mice on it that are gardening and it has 2002 on it (the year she was born). What do you think of the outfit she in? Its another thing that I made for her, a birthday present this year.

We finally got the last of the ornaments (as of now we could add more) up on the tree and were now ready to put up the Angel/North Star. After five minutes of talking Sierra-Lynn out of her room, she and her daddy put the topper on the tree. Isn't it beautiful. The presents are tucked under the bed waiting patiently for the chance to go under the tree, well all of them except my camera and the blanket that I made for her, I also made one for her cousin. She talked me into giving it to her early, isn't it pretty? She doesn't really need it on her bed, so it hangs on her wall, it goes well with the bedding set that I made her last year (blanket, pillow sham and canopy).

Isn't Christmas a wonderful time of the year? I sure think so. My only wish is that everyone has someone to spend the holidays with. I know that some people have no one. My Uncle David is one of those people. His girlfriend broke up with him two years ago on Valentine's Day and he has been alone ever since. I may just get to see him this Christmas though. He said that he might come up while his work is closed this year. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I miss him a lot. He was the one that taught me how to drive and took me to church where I was saved. He's one of a kind. No matter what the rest of the family thinks. Hey, they don't really care for me either.

I'm not a picture perfect carbon copy of my sister. Thank the Lord for that, I have no desire to be like her. She does drugs and steals and sleeps around. I do love her, but I don't agree with her life style. I pray for her to find peace and happiness. If somehow she finds this, I want to say that I love you Missie and I always have. I have missed you these last three years and all you have to do is leave a comment with contact info and I will get back to you.

I gotta go to bed now, I'm still trying to recoup the sleep I lost on Friday. Til next time.

Giving Thanks

In the spirit of the day, I'd like to say what I am thankful for this holiday season. First I'm thankful for a wonderful and loving husband, and for my sweet (when she wants to be) :) little girl. I'm also thankful for my friends, both old and new, but what I am most thankful for this year is that it is coming to a close. 2006 was one of the worst years in my life and that is saying a lot considering all that I have been through in my life. Here's to 2007 being a better year, with more time with family and friends, with more time for love and more time for fun. Because what is life without family, friends, love and fun. Its nothing more than a way to pass the time.

In tradition with the way I have done this blog I would like to tell a little something about my life. (Yes, I use this as a form of therapy, deal with it.) This time I would like to go back before I met Mark, back to shortly after high school graduation. For me college was not an option, I would have done good, but there just was no money for it. So, I did the next best thing, or so I thought, I signed up with the US Navy. I know what you are thinking, why would anyone want to do that? Well, the cold hard truth is it got me away from my sister and her kids. It didn't last long though. Two weeks before I was set to leave for basic, I got the living daylights beat out of me by my sister's boyfriend.
While at boot camp I had major pains in my back (they have never gone away) and was feeling a lot out of place. Anyway, one of the first things that you do is undergo a mental evaluation (the physical is before you sign your contract). Let's just say I didn't pass. I was sent to speak with their head shrink (pardon the pun). After more testing, on the computer, I was told that me and the Navy was not going to happen. Truth be told I wasn't to broken up about it. What I was upset about was the other thing that he told me. I suffer from depression, sure, and the Easter bunny lives with Santa at the North Pole. Of course, he wasn't wrong, shrinks usually aren't.

Well, that's it for today. Time to play Deal or No Deal.

"Summer Love"

On an unsuspecting summer morning is where this story starts. I remember it as if it were yesterday. Before the mist of dawn left the sun kissed sky, a small girl named Monica was walking to summer school. Monica was a small girl who got picked on a lot, mainly about her weight.
She was thinking about the boy she loved. His name is Ronnie. The night before she had stayed up half the night writing a note to him.
When she got to school she got Nathen Shoup to deliver it to Ronnie. A few hours later the note was given to him. He did not even read it, he just tore it up.
A while later Ronnie got with some of his friends and they put the note back together. Well when Monica found out that a boy named Clint was reading her note she started whining and saying "My life is over."
After a few days of listening to Monica's whining, a few of her friends told her to get a life.
She told them to get out of her face. She went off by herself and sat there until class was over.
She never came back to summer school........ever.


Now before you pass judgement of this story remember that it was written over 11 years ago by a freshman in high school. The who has yet to be determined, the author hasn't claimed it, yet.

I suck at titles.

I'm feeling much better today, thanks Juli. I guess that's what good friends are for. I had a nice long chat (IM) with her the other day and she did what she has always done, been my friend. The world needs more people like her.
I also received an email from ... wait for it.......my father. Yes, shocking, I know. Showing a real interest. Maybe there is hope for the boy yet (I'm not gonna hold my breath). What did he want? He wanted a picture or two of Sierra-Lynn's birthday party, ok, so there was a little prompting from me, but he still emailed. Non of it was readable, but he sent one, and that's all I asked. For him to make an effort.
I also received an email from Stoney Point Baptist Church in the Knoxville, TN area. Shane Gregg is going to put me in touch with some of my friends from there. I do miss them, Lord knows that the churches up here in the St Louis area leave much to be desired. I miss the down home God is in the house and you know it feeling. I miss the singing and the fellowship that followed. And I miss the way I felt when I was there, like I belonged.
You know, its funny. Life can take you all over, and you can meet hundreds of people, but very few will touch your heart and change your life. I have made friends all over this country and its seems like this is the predestined time for me to find them all again. Now if I could just find my best friend from Kindergarten, Jessica (Mason) Ford. The last thing that I knew, she was getting married to a man named Jeff Ford and they were moving to Amarillo, TX. They were supposed to work together at Southwest Baptist Church in Amarillo. I would really like to catch up with her. We haven't seen each other in about 20 years, but we had always managed to keep in touch, that is until we graduated from High School. If you know her (or are her) leave a comment or email me. We have so much to catch up on.
I'll be back.............in a minute with a story written over 11 years ago. Bye.

Third Wheel

Have you ever had someone harass you to the point where you find any excuse to avoid them? I'll bet that you think that I have, well, you'd be wrong. I have found myself feeling that way lately. I want so much to bring people back into my life that meant so much to me during times of crisis and loss, but I'm beginning to think that maybe I should just let them be. Maybe I don't fit in their world anymore. I am a firm believer that if you want something bad enough then go for it, but I get the feeling that some people wish that I would just go away. Now, for me this is not a new feeling, it has been with me my whole life. Ok, maybe not my whole life, just since my mom died, 13 1/2 years ago for anyone counting.

I consider myself to be a good judge of character and I have learned how to make friends, but with all of the moving that I have done in my life, I guess I missed the class on how to keep them. It seems like the harder I try the more they pull away. What am I doing wrong? Should I just stop? I really don't know anymore. I know that I should be grateful to have a loving and devoted husband, some women don't, and a wonderful little girl who loves me and wants to do everything with me, but I would like to have a real friend. Someone that I can laugh with, and cry with, someone that I can shoot the breeze with and bitch about things (our husbands, kids, the weather, whatever) with. I have wanted that for what seems like forever. Will I ever have that, probably not, but as always I'll deal and move on. I can always complain here, right?

On a much more positive note, I spent the day with my honey baby (Sierra-Lynn) :). We went for a walk, a short walk it was only 40 degrees and I don't want her to get sick. We played an ABC game, watched "Hannah Montana" and "Horseland", and played a game of "Monopoly junior". I got beat like a red headed step child, but that doesn't surprise me, Sierra-Lynn always beats me. I don't cheat for her and she wins every time. She was so tired that she actually took a nap, so I got Christmas cards ready to go out and worked on some presents. I'm making SM and her cousin Hannah quilts for Christmas with their initials and the digits of their birthdays on them. I hope that they like them. I'll leave you tonight with a photo of some other items that I have made and a website for more information on BJB Style.

http://www.geocities.com/sewbjbstyle/1.html

Scooby Doo Where Are You

Welcome to the ultimate Scooby Doo Birthday party. My angel loves Scooby Doo so much that the day after her "princess" party last year she declared that she was going to have a Scooby party this year. We had it all, bean bag toss, pin the bone on Scooby, a pinata, we even had real mystery for the new Scooby gang to solve, "The Mystery of the Birthday Bandit".
We started with our beautiful witch Scooby pumpkin (template found on-line). The kids (a.k.a. The Scooby gang) tossed mommy made Scooby bean bags into Scooby's nose. After that Sierra-Lynn showed off her room (which she does no matter how many times she has already shown it to you). Then came time for the children to witness the opening of the birthday gifts, only to find that they had been stolen. The search for clues was on.
Next came the pinata. Note to those of you planning a child's birthday party, pinatas are not for use in you kitchen, they are made for outside. Not that it was too terribly bad. We only broke 1 drinking glass, although everyone found the site of a 6 foot 3 inch man using a frying pan as a shield to be a rather comical moment. Alas no photo of that. Inside the pinata was our next clue, and our next game, Stick (because when you deal with children under the age of 5 you don't want them to have pins) the bone on Scooby's mouth.
Then it was time to bring on the cake (and other snacks). We had iced sugar cookies with sugar Scoobys, as well as biscuit pizzas and Scooby snacks. The kids, still on a high from "the thrill of the chase", were extremely well behaved and even said please and thank you. I was as shocked by this as you are folks. The clue found at the snack table lead us to the Birthday Bandit or the Tiki Monster, his capture and unmasking.
When the Tiki Monster came out of the back bedroom (out office) no one was expecting it. You should have seen how high they jumped, then they were running away from him, screaming as they went. They did manage to get him back into the kitchen, where there were not 1 but 2 rolls of toilet paper and proceeded to tie up the monster. Being the

birthday girl did have its advantages, Sierra-Lynn was the one to unmasked the monster, it was her daddy (Mark). As all Scooby villains he said those famous words, "I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you meddling kids." The mystery, however was far from over, they still had to find the presents. What else could the gang do, they tortured the monster with .............. tickles, until he gave up the booty.

Here is Sierra-Lynn with one her gifts (too many photos to show all her gifts). This is her first real bike, a 12 inch Disney Princess bike from her Aunt Becky, Uncle Mike and her cousins Zach and Shawn. She also received a Disney Princess tea set, a lip gloss and nail polish set from Aunt Dee Dee and Uncle Justin and from her cousin Hannah, she got a pink button up sweater. Her friends gave her a Scooby coloring book, crayons, a puzzle, and a Disney Princess mock CD player. From mommy and daddy (more than she needed) she got a helmet and padding set for her bike and skates, a Scooby bop bag, two outfits that I made, two Kids Songs DVDs, Barbie of Swan Lake on DVD and a Chuck-E-Cheeses play set. Thanks to everyone who came, she loved the gifts and has not stopped talking about it since (her party was Nov. 4). I'm just grateful that she learned that when you make the pedals go around in circles, you make the bike go forward. Now if it would only warm up some, so that she can ride it outside instead of in my kitchen. Oh well, that's what I get for having her in November.

The Greatest Man I've Ever Known

His name is Robert Jackson Bennett Jr. (.ak.a. Bob) and today
would have been his birthday. He was the dad that I always wanted yet only received as a father-in-law, and in the Bennett home, he is both loved and missed, so much so that I cannot keep the tears at bay as I type these words. Bob was a devoted husband, a loving Dad, a kind and generous papa, and a great friend.
He was my friend as well as my in-law, and everyday that goes by that I can't talk with him feels empty. I spoke with my sister-in-law Dee Dee today and during our conversation (I think) we both started to cry. She told me that when she met me, she was jealous of my "toothpick" size and asked me if I had been jealous of her size. I told her that I wasn't jealous of that, but that the only thing I was envious of her was her parents. I would have given anything when I was growing up to have my parents together and to have a love like hers did. Dee Dee, Becky and Mark don't know how truely lucky they were, to have that kind of relationship role model. I have heard many times that the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, nothing could be truer than those words. The Lord took two wonderful people away from a family that loves them, but he also gave that family (in my opinion) a connection that will bring them all closer together.
So, in closing today, I say to all that are hurting today, as long as we continue to love and remember Bob and each other, he will always be with us.
Blessed Be